8:25 am on a Wednesday morning: 38 000 ft in the air is about the last place you’d think to find a meandering student – alone amongst the businessmen and women getting to Dallas, Texas for their next business meeting.
The lady next to me is of Asian origin, I couldn’t say from where. She has two beautiful children she addresses in a slightly accented English – not like an Asian-English accent, an American English accent. They beg for crackers and sip their Starbucks while the plane takes off, hardly noticing the plane taking off. 2 and 4 years I’d say.
Makes me think of the generation we live in, the extent to which life has changed.
My parents went to Vancouver last year with my father’s cousin and it was his first flight. How different a life those two children will live than his. I wonder how many flights they’ve already been on, how many countries they have seen. Where will they go to school, university and internships –will borders no longer exist? They are already fast asleep although we are on a small plane, whose takeoff and cruise-flight noises are more perturbing than that of a larger craft.
I myself feel somewhere in between these two generations. Waiting for takeoff, I’m much too jittery to keep reading, flying is always exciting! Keeping my cool, I look for something to occupy me: no cell phone, no iPod, no laptop... Ahah! The In-Flight American Airlines SkyMall Catalogue: a classic. What’s a flight into the US without a look through these amazing catalogues of exclusive new problem-solving products? Gotta love it. Let’s have a roundabout, shall we?
So first you have the predictable gadgets: A Brass Tide Clock – for all your fishermen’s needs. The Panning Faux Security Camera: with an exclusive LED light to indicate “operation” – That’ll fool ‘em! Then there’s “That-Ugly-Watch-You-Bought-In-An-Airport-With-Fake-Wooden-Pannelling”: comes complimentary with “The-Executive-Cherrywood-Trimmed-Box-You-Will-Never-Use.” In case that doesn’t fit your every watch needs, also available is a wide variety of Showcase Watch Boxes. Available is 5 sizes – with Exclusive EURO design. There’s also that 80$ Ceramic Pet Fountain: resists bacteria - unlike those horrible plastic pet fountains which cause acne on the lips of your pets – because washing plastic bowls couldn’t be any harder! In the same department is the Neater Feeder for dogs and cats! Rather than watch out not to kick your dog’s water bowl, why worry? – kick it all you want, with the Neater Feeder, spills accumulate in a big awkward double-lined plastic container you’ll have to clean anyway! Still in the same category, there’s the Indoor Barking Dog Deterrent for those of us who love dogs, but find it unacceptable for them to act like dogs. But also, the Only Underwater Pogo Stick is available here, and ONLY here! Now YOU can be the ONLY one fulfilling that inescapable urge to jump around underwater on a stick!
Then there are the impressive gadgets such as the Video Recording Sunglasses. 200$ a pop but that’s nothing compared to the joy you’ll have of looking at the same crap you’ve already seen again and again! Perfect for reminiscing about all those unforgettable moments in your day: the morning coffee, lunch-breaks with Helen, 45-minute traffic commutes! Similarly available is the Digital Camera Swim Mask – watch yourself clean the bottom of your pool again and again! Then there’s the Hair-Laser Therapy Device. 300$ for a wireless laser device which looks like a doorknob – guaranteed to grow back you hair! Comes with a built-in exclusive Digital Clock – just in case you’re having so much fun you lose track of all the hours withering away! If that doesn’t impress you, what about the NEW! Hammacher Schlemmer Telekinetic Obstacle Course: a giant headband and earlobe monitor with which you can navigate a foam ball on an 8” obstacle course with teeter-totters, hoops, chutes... What else could make your life feel so complete!
There’s also the “let’s look lame” category in which fits the No-Blind-Spot Mirror! Essentially a car mirror which is 3-times as long: way to go champ! Turning your head to look is SUCH a strain! And how about the Wrist Cell Phone Carrier – who’s got the energy to remember where you put your cell phone anyways? Comes in pink for that lady-lame you know! Then there’s the Stainless Steel Wallet: ok, gotta admit it, this one looks super-duper! I’m tired of all those rusting wallets – stainless steel is the solution! Or how about the Diagonal Airblown Inflatable Movie Screen – great for ruining a day outdoors with a movie! Had enough?
Oh, but the list goes on and on! The Pet Doorbell Set, the Dog Travel Seat and Harness, the Personalized Garden Bench, the Giant Garden Peacock, the GPS Car Locator, the 13’ World Map, the 8” Cupcake mold, the Disinfecting Nano-UV light! All these amazing gadgets will legitimize the lazy way of life!
Ah! That was fun... I’m such a critic!
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8:37 The clouds thin, I can see rivulets and hills! Beautiful. Already the snow is a rough 24-hour nightmare Montréal had. There are so many patches of water, interspersing the little bubbles of earth which hardly constitute hills from where I can see. A winding river finds its trail through this topographical maze, more real than any 3D movie. A smallish road – is it beaten earth or paved cement? – tries to outwit this unpredictable textured land but is forced to go around an unmoving lake the shape of which I cannot describe. Urbanity is amazing, the LIFE the people, the excitement, the culture... but our blue-green planet is the most outstanding masterpiece of all –flying is one excellent way to get an idea of just how vast and limitless this planet is. And I could suppose that’s the grounds on which I feel that LIFE itself is so limitless, as well as the essence of why things like dryer-sheets and tipping waiters make me want to throw myself off a small cliff.
8:50 WATER! Great Lakes I suppose! What a sight! It is blue as bob and the morning sun hitting the cities looks like the beginning of another productive spring day in Toronto. People will groom pets, sell doorknobs and get their cars cleaned all over the city. Heather – thinking of you ; )
Oh god, someone is snoring. I had forgotten the annoyance of that. What evolutionary purpose does snoring serve exactly? Marc-Antoine, not-snoring is definitely on the list of top 100 reasons I adore you :)
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From this height, the whole world looks the same – humans all over the globe have used what means they had to shape the land into productive space. Spaces of living, spaces of growing food, spaces of transit, spaces of cultural agglomerations... Without time, there is no way of knowing how far we are, when we will get there, no landmarks big enough, no distinguishing signs of culturally different land-distribution.
9:48 : We are going to land in an hour and a 40 minutes. Time Flies. Or in this case Flying Times? Shame!
